And what will a Socialist government like Denmark do? Why, raise taxes to offer businesses a bailout, of course! The only natural solution! What genius! What business acumen! What lovely economic aesthetics! Why, it’s a monetary system par excellence! Yes, let’s please bring more Socialism to the United States of America, since that hasn’t utterly raped, murdered, hacked into pieces, and buried our economy already!

Sorry, just a smidgeon of sarcasm in the foregoing paragraph. In all seriousness, who thinks this is a good idea? Environmentalists are exactly like watermelons: green on the outside, totally Commie-red on the inside, except for the nasty seedy parts that you have to spit out.

And don’t get me wrong, I’m a vegan, I like animals, I think nature is swell. But any idiot who still thinks man-made carbon dioxide contributes to global climate change in the wake of Climate-gate of 2010 is simply foolish! We have hundreds of e-mail records from top-notch enviro-goons at some of the country’s finest educational establishments. These e-mails specifically request that data which would speak contrary to the “global warming” agenda be squelched, gagged, hidden, destroyed, and/or denied. So tell me, HOW is global warming sound, objective science?

At the same time, in the last 10 years we’ve seen the birth of a new field called “cosmoclimatology”, which studies the link between solar output and weather patterns on the earth. What have REAL scientists found? Why, they’ve found that in years of greater solar activity and output, we have experienced higher-than-normal temperature on earth. And in years with lower solar activity? Lower temperatures, naturally.

Why would any but the most egotistical of thinking persons turn to man-made gases before studying the sun when asking the question, “Why is the earth getting hotter?” The sun is a HUGE fiery nuclear reactor in the sky that is constantly radiating our planet with life-giving warmth and kinetic energy, without which no matter how much you hugged the trees, they’d be dead and so would you.

Good grief, Charlie Brown.